I have been in a rut for a while now. Part of the point of starting this blog was to break out of that rut, and in some ways, it has been very successful.
I am in a loving relationship with a man who respects and cares for me, and I am really happy. That’s not something that I really thought would be possible a year ago.
I have a wide circle of very good friends, and I am grateful every day for them.
My apartment has some issues (overrun by cats and my roommate’s clothes), but I love the price, location, and my closet.
I am not so happy with my job. It is part-time and will always be part-time, and I took a pay cut a few months ago. Things are getting worse, not better, and I need to transition. For those of you who know me in real life, you know that I have been talking about changing things with work for a long time. Now is the time to do it, though. I can’t keep living a half life. It was one thing when I was actively working with artists group and was organizing shows and running their gallery. That has fizzled, and I’m just drifting. I can’t stay in a position out of loyalty to my boss.
Last night, a friend asked me what I would want to do. At the time, I couldn’t articulate it, but I have been thinking about it a lot. I like working with kids and would prefer to stay in the arts. A position with a children’s arts education non-profit is what has been rolling around in my head. How realistic is that considering how specific it is? Probably not very, but it’s nice to at least acknowledge it as a goal.
In the past, I have allowed all of the possibilities (positive and negative) to overwhelm me so that I go nowhere. I need to stop this, so I am going to set some goals:
1) Take things one step at a time – the easiest way to get overwhelmed and just quit is to over think the possible outcomes of every scenario.
2) Stay open to possibilities – pursue possibilities, even when they’re not what I expect
3) Learn a new skill – I like to take books out of the library to learn new skills, but recently, I have been bad about actually utilizing the books. Bookkeeping is something that I have had some exposure to and is incredibly marketable. It takes a type-a personality, and I definitely qualify.
4) Stay positive – the economy is rough, and internships have eliminated many entry-level jobs. It is very easy to get discouraged and to want things to move forward quickly. This is going to take time.
5) Apply to jobs – it may sound simple, but it is surprisingly easy to convince yourself that you’re not right for a position and should not bother to apply.
I leave for my yearly vacation to Cape May on Saturday (at 7am!) and am going to take that break to read and recharge. I have enough reading material to spend every moment of 7 days reading and am going to take advantage. When I get back, I need to work hard to get things back on track. And I’m going to commit to it.