I went home last weekend and somehow my mom and I got onto one of her new favorite topics: my ex, Mr. Republican, and his resemblance to actor, Martin Freeman.
Now, there’s nothing particularly wrong with Martin Freeman. He’s cute, and I loved his role in Love Actually.
The issue comes in when your mother starts to remind you every time she sees you that she saw an ad for “that hobbit movie” starring that “little nebbish guy” who looks like your ex.
Yes, my mom feels that the man I dated for over three years resembles a hobbit.
Now, bear in mind, she told me about her whole “hobbit theory” before I saw went to see The Hobbit with Mr. Librarian. Picture it: I’m sitting in the theater watching the never-ending hobbit movie (and occasionally dozing off – don’t worry, they were still running when I woke up), and every time Bilbao Baggins comes on screen, all I can think is “Mr. Republican.” It was irritating to say the least. Not to mention slightly awkward.
But rest assured, mom doesn’t always compare the ex to a hobbit. Sometimes she brings up Martin Freeman’s role in Sherlock Holmes:
I’ve heard that he’s great in the role, but my mother focuses on the fact that she thinks he is gay.
So there you have it. According to my mom, I dated a nebbish, gay, hobbit. And the worst part about him according to her? We haven’t already covered it yet? Nope.
The worst part is that he is a Republican.