I’m finally ready to talk about Mr. Librarian. I have been quiet thus far because it’s still new, I really like him, and I haven’t decided how much I am comfortable sharing with the world. This is new territory for me because I haven’t been seriously involved with any of the men that I have written about on here in the past.
Mr. Librarian and I met through my roommate’s boyfriend. When my roommate first told me about him 4-5 months ago, I immediately wrote him off because of how much older than me he is. As I have made painfully obvious, I have not had much luck with men as of late, and so when my roommate said Mr. Librarian would be coming to her birthday party at the beginning of October, I figured it couldn’t hurt to meet him. We seemed to hit it off, and even though I was still a little wary, I gave him my number. He CALLED me and asked me out on an ACTUAL date (with a planned activity and everything.) This may not seem like a big deal to some, but for many of my generation, it’s almost unheard of and earned him big points. I have lost count of the number of times I (and my friends) have been texted with “Hey, wanna get a drink? ;)” And that’s actually eloquent, comparatively speaking.
So we went to First Saturday at the Brooklyn Museum (where I let my art nerd flag fly) then dinner and there was some kissing. Since then, we’ve been out every weekend.
So now I am completely out of my league. I haven’t had a boyfriend or dated anyone seriously in 5.5 years, and since that relationship started out in college, we basically fell into it. I am terrified of messing this up and have very little self-confidence because of my lack of experience. He’s also older than me by quite a bit and is therefore more established in his life. I can’t help but wonder what he sees in me.
I know that none of my insecurities are helping, and I am trying to power through and not focus on them. I know (in the tiny, rational portion of my brain) that I am worthy of being in this relationship and that I need to let things unfold at their own pace and not obsess over shit.
Question of the day is: how exactly do I do that???