I have reached a dead end and want to give up on dating. I am so sick of it. I have not the enjoyed the process, and I haven’t gotten good results. I’ll admit that I’m not putting much effort into OKCupid, but I’m also just not excited about it. I’ve been on too many mediocre dates. A big part of the issue is that I really liked someone, and now I remember what that feels like, good and bad. I have a hard time getting psyched about people’s profiles and am terrified of liking someone and getting hurt. It just brings me down, so last week I decided that I was done. I wanted to take a break from dating.
I love my life. I am happy with being me and being on my own 99% of the time. On Friday my boss told me that because of me, she feels like she has back up and support with her business. She thinks I excel at admin and teaching. I need to be making more money (need to find some more part-time work,) but I am busy doing things that I enjoy. I have good friends and family and love living in NYC. I have too many roommates, but my apartment is pretty great and Astoria is amazing. Five years ago, when I was moving back in with my parents after college, I never could have imagined that this is where my life would take me.
So what’s the issue? The problem is that I am lonely. And friends and family aren’t going to make me less lonely no matter how much I wish that they could. I miss the feel of being with a guy. I miss the physical connection with another person. And the only way I have found to fix this issue is to continue with online dating. Which brings me back to why I am going to message some guys tonight that a friend picked out for me. It’s also why I will probably respond to the shorter-than-I-want-him-to-be guy. Blargh. Anyone know of a way to get excited about dating again?
On a positive note, my friend installed my air conditioner this morning so I am FINALLY cool! I’m going to sleep like this tonight: