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Daily Life of Me

Dating Dead End

I have reached a dead end and want to give up on dating.  I am so sick of it.  I have not the enjoyed the process, and I haven’t gotten good results.  I’ll admit that I’m not putting much effort into OKCupid, but I’m also just not excited about it.  I’ve been on too many mediocre dates.  A big part of the issue is that I really liked someone, and now I remember what that feels like, good and bad.  I have a hard time getting psyched about people’s profiles and am terrified of liking someone and getting hurt.   It just brings me down, so last week I decided that I was done.  I wanted to take a break from dating.

I love my life.  I am happy with being me and being on my own 99% of the time.  On Friday my boss told me that because of me, she feels like she has back up and support with her business.  She thinks I excel at admin and teaching.  I need to be making more money (need to find some more part-time work,) but I am busy doing things that I enjoy.  I have good friends and family and love living in NYC.  I have too many roommates, but my apartment is pretty great and Astoria is amazing.  Five years ago, when I was moving back in with my parents after college, I never could have imagined that this is where my life would take me.

So what’s the issue?  The problem is that I am lonely.  And friends and family aren’t going to make me less lonely no matter how much I wish that they could.  I miss the feel of being with a guy.  I miss the physical connection with another person.  And the only way I have found to fix this issue is to continue with online dating.  Which brings me back to why I am going to message some guys tonight that a friend picked out for me.  It’s also why I will probably respond to the shorter-than-I-want-him-to-be guy.  Blargh.   Anyone know of a way to get excited about dating again?

On a positive note, my friend installed my air conditioner this morning so I am FINALLY cool!  I’m going to sleep like this tonight:

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Discussion

4 thoughts on “Dating Dead End

  1. I told another blogger this: just have fun and think of these dates as experiences. As a way to get your ‘I’m hot and awesome’ mojo back.

    Posted by bossymoksie | July 4, 2012, 1:01 am
  2. I haven’t been in your shoes (a lot of short-term dating), but I can tell you that being in a relationship with the wrong person can make you feel lonlier than when you are single. I dated one man for 7 years and the next guy for 5 years and I was actually quite lonely. When I finally *finally* got wise and cut loose of the “I need a man to be happy” mindset, I felt more liberated than ever before. I came more “into” myself and THAT is when I met the man of my dreams. I think it’s that whole “what you put out into the universe comes back to you” thing. I’ve been married to him for 12 years and we have 2 wonderful children. We’re more in love than ever. My reason for sharing is that I know that feeling of being scared that you’ll never find someone who puts you first. That special person to share the ups and downs of life with. My best advice is work on yourself. What makes you happy? What are your priorities? What makes you laugh and feel full of life? What would you like to learn/explore more of?

    Instead of “dating” what if you joined some organizations or groups where you could meet like-minded people who enjoy doing the things you do? Like a cooking class? or fencing? or calligraphy? or…whatever…the point is…get on with your life. Grow yourself. THATS when you’re more likely to find someone who isn’t desperate or bored. You’ll find someone who’s also trying to grow himself and move forward in life.

    Sorry…my $2. I wish you the best with everything, and thanks so much for following our Chick Swagger blog!! 🙂

    Posted by Misty Dietz | July 8, 2012, 10:00 pm
    • Thanks for the $2 advice! I have been trying to focus on myself and my interests, but since I’ve been doing that for 5 years now, I’m trying to date some too. Thank you for your very thoughtful reply.

      Posted by artgirlnyc | July 9, 2012, 1:41 am

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