I LOVE the Bravo network. I watch Real Housewives (New Jersey and New York mostly,) Millionaire Matchmaker (love Patti,) Work of Art (to laugh at the insanity and bad art,) and Million Dollar Listing. Now there’s a new show that has captured my attention: Miss Advised. Miss Advised follows three female “relationship experts” who are trying to deal with their own love lives in different cities. As of last night, there have been two episodes.
First, there is Emily, the sex expert with a radio show in San Francisco and commitment issues. She has done a lot of research on sex and dating and has written a book of her advice, Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. She preaches against monogamy and claims that she has trouble dating because men don’t want to date a “sex expert.” Not gonna lie, that doesn’t really surprise me. Her family seems to think that she’s a commitment-phobe. Aside from the hatred of monogamy, she seems to be the most normal of the three. And I appreciate her sense of humor.
Then there’s Amy, a New York City matchmaker who is excellent at giving women dating rules to find love but cannot seem to follow them herself. For instance, she admittedly tells her clients to cut all ties with exes once the relationship ends, but during the first episode she is trying (desperately) to be friends with AB, her ex. During last night’s episode she tells a client not to date younger and to never accept a date for later the same day. Then she does both because of “lack of options.” I loved when her trainer told her it was a booty call and that her date was already “half way in.” She also called this guy after the date while in her bathtub…in front of cameras. I know that’s where I make all of my phone calls to potential sex partners.
Finally, we have Julia, the dating columnist from Chicago who moves to LA in the first episode. She has over 50 pre-requisites for the man of her dreams and owns at least 21 tutus because they balance her figure when she wears a skirt. My favorite line from the first episode was when she was saying that she’s the perfect woman: “You can take me home to your mom and I might give you a blow job on the way there.” Usually my favorite person on this type of show is the nutcase because they are so over the top, but she just grates on me and makes me resent the fact that I have a vagina. She is desperate (and admits it.) She even resorts to spin the bottle for a kiss on a date…pre-meditated spin the bottle.
The overall theme of the show seems to be that as single women we should say “yes” to every dating opportunity because at least it’s a new experience/story and that we, as women, are f*cking crazy. Is this how men see us? Is this what we are really like? Should we be taking advice from these three experts? If you read their bios, you will see that they all give advice through magazines, newspapers, and radio/talk shows frequently so obviously someone trusts their opinions. And really, when it comes to dating, do women really need advice? Do any of us know what we’re doing (even the experts?) I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
It’s frightening yet, like a car crash, I know I won’t be able to stop watching. I mean, who could resist?