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Dating

Is instant chemistry necessary?

I had my first date in over a year last night and am left undecided about the guy.  He’s very nice, intelligent, and funny.   He was actually interested in me, and I think I spent more time talking than he did. The problem is that I wasn’t sexually attracted to him.  Not that I find him unappealing, but I didn’t get that feeling of chemistry.  Now I realize that that doesn’t always happen immediately and that those feelings can grow.  I respect that opinion (which is why I am going out with him again tomorrow.)  At the same time, I was in a relationship where feelings grew from friendship and it caused some problems in the end.  Granted, I know people who have had great relationships which grew from friendship but wasn’t there some attraction in the beginning?

I don’t know, to be honest.  We’re going out again tomorrow so I guess we’ll see.  I don’t know how long to try before pulling the “you’re a really great friend” card.  It’s not like I expected the first guy I went on a date with to be my soul mate, and I should be excited that it wasn’t a traumatic experience (as most dating in NYC is.)  Yet I want more.  It’s probably the stupid romantic in me.  You know the one that I deny actually exists 99% of the time?  At least I’m putting myself out there and actually trying.  That has to count for something, right?

 

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Discussion

2 thoughts on “Is instant chemistry necessary?

  1. Putting yourself out there certainly counts.
    I find chemistry to be really important. If I’m not attracted to a guy, there’s no way we can date. The first kiss doesn’t count much, because first kisses can be really awkward. But if by the second kiss there’s nothing there, then chances are there never will be. At least that has been my experience.
    Good luck on your next date. And enjoy yourself, no matter what, because dates are fun.l

    Posted by RedheadCarol | April 22, 2012, 5:28 pm

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